Precious Moments
by PearlQ19
Summary: A series of very short one-shots featuring the Doctor and/or Rose. 'Shippy but in a canon sort of way. Basically a summary of their relationship up to "Journey's End". More info inside. Please leave a review...
1. A Tough Act

Precious Moments

**Precious ****Moments**

_A/N:__ Much like my "LOST Moments", this is a series of one-shots, really short drabbles featuring the Doctor and/or Rose. They're mostly "snapshots", either complementing a scene from some episode or fitting in between them. Some inspired by the show itself, others inspired by songs. Stories may be set at any time during the show. I'm putting the ones I already have in chronological order, but if I come up with something else later, chapters may be out of chronology. Sorry for that. The first couple of drabbles are more or less random, but later on they become a sort of Rose POV rehash of some season 3 episodes (you'll see what I mean)._

_Yep, they're shippy, but I'm trying to stay as canon as possible. I know that especially the long-term fans oppose to the notion of the doctor actually falling in love with his companion, so I'm trying to somehow circumnavigate that. See for yourself if I manage. I'll try to put the stories in such a way that they could technically be included in the show without breaking the style._

_As usual, the non-native-speaker warning applies, and please send a review once you've read this._

_Classification:__ Series of Doctor/Rose one-shots set during the course of the new Doctor Who series. Rated PG just in case. Loads of emotions ahead, as usual, and 'shippy in a canon sort of way – at least I'm trying._

_Disclaimer:__ Not mine. No profit. Blame Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant and Billie Piper for doing such an amazing job on the show and having those characters sparkle with inspiration._

_And now, off we go!_

**A Tough Act **

_Set after "School Reunion". Rose picks up on Sarah Jane telling the doctor that he was "a tough act to follow"._

**Rose**

So this is how it ends. The companion gets left behind and spends years trying to get back into a normal life. And if they're very, very lucky, they get to see him again one day.

It scares me.

The Doctor told me very little about Sarah Jane, but then again, he told me next to nothing about his other previous companions – and he's had more companions than most other men had girlfriends. I wonder what they were like. I wonder what they shared with him, whether they had something special with him, like I believe we two have.

I'm still trying to figure out if I have any reason to be jealous. Clearly, her feelings for him were complicated. She admitted as much when she told him he was a tough act to follow.

Yes, I can imagine him being a very tough act to follow. But if one day, for some horrible reason, he and I should be parted and he finds himself another companion, all I ask is that I'll be an even tougher act to follow.


	2. Without A Face

Without A Face

**Without A Face**

_Complementary scene for the ending of "The Idiot's Lantern", when Rose has her face back._

**The Doctor**

There she is, amidst the crowd of people who finally got their faces back. It's funny how much scarier those faceless people looked than, say, a lower life form from Alpha Centauri. It's a radical change in the ordinary that scares us most. Yes, I do include myself in that, although my definition of ordinary might differ slightly from that of most humans.

Rose turns and spots me, and a wide smile spreads over her face. I feel such relief to see her again, safe and sound and completely whole. My coat flaps out behind me as I pick up speed until I'm almost running to her, and she meets me halfway and throws herself into my welcoming arms. I hug her tightly, actually lifting her a little from the ground.

My Rose. My courageous, fearless Rose.

Our joyful reunion lasts a while, neither of us really wanting to let go, but after a while I put her back in her feet and release her to look at her.

I had to see her without a face in order to notice how beautiful she is.

Considering she's human and all that, of course.


	3. Companions

Companions

**Companions**

_A short, sweet moment. Set after some unseen adventure… somewhere in the middle of the season, I'd say._

**Rose**

I feel a little light-headed, but fine. It's the high after a won battle. I'm really getting used to that.

The Doctor has a spring in his step, too, and all of a sudden he slips an arms around my shoulders and pulls me close to him. "Rose Tyler, did I ever tell you I'm really, really glad I found you?"

I smile up at him and snuggle a little closer to him, slipping my own arm around his slender waist. "Nope," I say. "Although I hoped you would."

He bends over to me and places a smacking kiss on my temple. It's the enthusiasm of the moment, I suppose, because while he's generous with hugs, he has never before given me a kiss, not even one as innocent as this one. Not this Doctor, anyway. "Ah, but you know, anyway," he says.

My playful grin fades a little. I'm being serious now. "Still it's nice to be told," I remind him softly.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," he agrees. He stops and turns to me. "Come here, you," he murmurs and pulls me into a hug. I hug him back, enjoying the familiarity of it. His messy hair brushes against my face and neck, and I clasp my arms tighter around him. I love this man. I really do. I'm just not sure how.

"I'm your companion," I say softly. "For better or worse, I'll stay with you. You know that, don't you? Because, see, I'm very glad that you found me, too."

"Glad you think the same. 'Cause, you know, I really care for you, Rose."

It is the closest thing to a declaration of deep feelings he has ever made to me, and I'm a little surprised. He is still hugging me, and for a moment the situation hovers on the edge of awkward. But only for a moment.

Then his face breaks into that familiar wide, enthusiastic grin of his once more, and, with a glint in his eye, he adds, "With all my hearts."


	4. Forever

Forever

**Forever**

_Some thoughts going through Rose's head, set after "Fear Her", with reference to "School Reunion". This uses part of the lyrics from "Lullaby" by the Dixie Chicks._

**Rose**

"A storm is coming soon."

I was so convinced that no one could ever split us up that his reaction came as a bit of a shock. His sense of foreboding has rarely let him down. Sometimes it's so hard to read him. Does he really think we're going to be parted soon?

His perception of time is different from mine, and that's how I console myself. For him, a year goes by in the blink of an eye, and a lifetime seems like a mere day. When he says, "soon", it might well mean fifty years from now.

But this wasn't the first time he said something like that. I remember his reaction when I suggested we should stay together forever. He had a point when he said he could never reciprocate. When you're almost immortal, you're probably more careful talking about forever.

I find myself humming a song, the same song that has been on my mind a lot lately. I don't exactly know why, although I've got a pretty good idea, as it sums up what I never tell him:

_How long do you want to be loved? Is forever enough, is forever enough? How long do you want to be loved, 'cause I'm never ever giving you up…_

Only my forever can never be enough for him.


	5. An All Too Human Concept

Kisses

**An All Too Human Concept**

_The Doctor wonders about the concept of kissing._

**The Doctor**

A kiss is supposed to express feelings of love and/or desire. A meeting of lips, of tongues, a sharing of an intimate connection. Only humans could have invented something like that.

It was a strange concept to me when I first heard of it, but after centuries of travelling, I've somehow gotten used to it. I even did it myself sometimes, or rather, I had it done to me. It's not entirely unpleasant.

During my time with Rose, I've kissed and been kissed more often than in all the years before. I have no idea why that is.

Jackie kissed me when she was so glad that I'd brought Rose back safely, and it made me feel uncomfortable, to tell the truth. But then, again, it was only out of gratitude, nothing more. I guess I can handle that.

Reinette did, and I actually enjoyed it. I snogged Madame de Pompadour! How many men can say that, after all? She was sweet, and for a moment I felt more human than most of the time. For a moment, I could understand why they do it, what it expresses. But that moment was gone very soon, and I'll never see her again.

Cassandra did, although she was using Rose's lips for it, and that was a strange sensation. I knew it couldn't be Rose the moment our lips met, and yet it was her body, her scent. It confused me more than I admitted. Probably because I have a vague memory of having kissed Rose before that – or at least my previous incarnation did. Yes, it was only to save her life, but something in that kiss was different from all the others – from Reinette, from Jackie, from Jack Harkness (who had the galls to kiss me as well when he left, I do remember that, too). Kissing Rose felt… _right_.

It scared me a little, I remember. I probably shouldn't have, but it was the only way to save her. But it might have meant a lot more to her, and maybe even to me.

I must be careful not to get too involved. One day she will leave me, too, like all the others have – on purpose or by accident. And although I don't think Rose would ever willingly leave my side, I have the feeling that it's going to be sooner than we think.

I will not be the same when she's gone. And the very fact that I'm thinking these thoughts proves that I've already gotten way too involved.


	6. Goodbye

Goodbye

**Goodbye**

_Post-Doomsday._

**Rose**

There aren't enough tears left in me to cry. I've screamed and I've ranted and I've begged God and the universe and whatever else I could think of to take me back to my world, to his world. I've chosen him over my family long ago, and just as I'd really gotten used to that I was forced to reverse that decision.

I'm glad I have my family, I really am. I'd go mad without them. But with the pain of his loss still like an open wound in my chest, I can hardly appreciate them, and that makes me even sadder.

At least we got to say goodbye. We were allowed one last meeting, but a cruel trick of fate made it way too short. Too much was left unsaid between us. What I did say came out all wrong, and what he would have said, I'll never know.

I'll never forget that look upon his face. He said he was burning up a sun just to say goodbye, and he knows, he must have known, that not only that sun but my whole world went up in ashes along with it. Only there's no phoenix to rise out of the ashes, and even though I'm with people I love, I'm lonelier now than ever before in my whole life.

**The Doctor**

I've always hated goodbyes, and I've had way too many. Some were easier, some harder. Some were on friendly terms, others in strife. But almost all my previous goodbyes had one thing in common: I knew they did not necessarily have to be forever. And believe me, being a time lord, I know about forever, and how long it can really be. While it may take a human a lifetime to forget someone they once loved, I have all of eternity.

My Rose, my brave, faithful Rose. I miss you more than I can say, more than my time-lord nature is supposed to be able to express, even to feel. Things will not be the same without you. Even the TARDIS seems to miss you, it's malfunctioning more often than before. I probably hasn't gotten re-accustomed just yet to carrying only one passenger. I certainly haven't.

More than once I've found myself on the edge of talking to you, or reaching out to take your hand, or turning my head to see if you were still beside me, where you belonged. And only after a moment did it occur to me that you were no longer there.

When I burned up that sun to say goodbye, I think I burned a part of my soul along with it. Either that, or you have taken it with you to that place where I cannot reach you - all I know is that I've felt incomplete since you've been gone.

So completely incomplete.


	7. Without You I'm Nothing

Without You I'm Nothing

**Without You I'm Nothing**

_Inspired by Amaral's "Sin ti no soy nada". __Parts of the song are used in this (translation is mine, the song ain't). Set somewhere between seasons 2 and 3._

**Rose**

I'm lying on my bed and sleep just won't come. It's one of those days when I miss him most. It's just little things that remind me of him, and then I spend the rest of the day crying, and nothing can cheer me up.

Today is one of those days. I was listening to the radio, and this Spanish song was playing. And since I still understand most languages perfectly (a side effect of travelling in the TARDIS for such a long time), I knew what it was saying, and it made my throat narrow and my heart ache.

_Without you I'm nothing, a raindrop moistening my face._

Yes, I have been reduced to pieces. I'm incomplete. What is running down my face is not raindrops, but a constant stream of tears. I cry for him, as I have so many nights before.

_Flopped on the bed, watching television without seeing anything._

Exactly what I do when I can't go to sleep. I stare at the programs and yet have no clue what I'm watching. It's only moving pictures that make no sense to me at all. If I'm really unlucky, some crappy Sci-Fi program is on, and I find myself clenching my hands into fists, considering to point out to the filmmakers that they got everything all wrong. There is no life on Mars, and most alien life forms are NOT green – Slitheen excepted. But then I remember what I saw with him, and I'm on the verge of tears again and switch off the telly.

_My soul, my body, my voice are of no use at all, for without you I'm nothing._

What does it matter what I do? I've lost my other half. I have no one to give my soul or my body to, no one to listen to my voice.

Well, that's not true, of course, for I have my family around me. But it's not the same, and it never will be.

_I laugh without joy with a smile painted on my face._

I do it to humour my mom, and Pete, and Mickey. They're worried about me when I'm like that. And although they can see very well that my smile isn't heartfelt, they contend themselves with it, telling themselves that, with time, I'll get better.

_What I wouldn't give to have you look at me, to be forever you and me, while everything's changing._

Yes, Doctor, everything's changing.

But no matter how big the change, without you I'm still nothing.


	8. Another Heart

Another Heart

**Another Heart**

_Another look into Rose's head on a gloomy day, set between season 2 and 3._

**Rose**

I wonder if he has found someone new by now. I wonder what they're like – boy, girl, young, old? Do they get along or are they reluctant travellers?

And if he's found himself a new companion, and if it's a woman… I don't want to finish that thought. I know I shouldn't be jealous, since he was never really mine to begin with, but I cant help it. I know he does not, cannot love, but I do know he "loved" me as much as he was able, whatever that means. I don't need him to love me in the human sort of way as long as he does not feel it for someone else. It will be enough to know that I was special, and always will be.

Yes, I still think we had something special, and I'm almost certain he felt it, too. I don't want him to be sad, but a selfish little part of me hopes that he's missing me. My heart broke when we were parted. I wish I had a heart to spare, like he does.

But maybe, just maybe, he will never feel for another companion what he felt for me, because he only has one heart left and the other broke for me, too.


	9. Sometimes

Sometimes

**Sometimes**

_Maybe the crack hasn't been closed as properly as they thought…_

**Rose**

Sometimes I get sad for no apparent reason and then I know he's thinking of me. Sometimes I think I can hear his voice calling out my name and then I know he needs me. Sometimes my heart becomes heavy and a lump rises in my throat and then I know he's missing me. Sometimes my heart skips a beat and then starts to race and then I know he's in danger.

Sometimes I can feel him.

**The Doctor**

I don't know why, or how, but sometimes I feel her very close. It's almost as if there was some faint telepathic connection between us. But sometimes my hearts ache with a pain that's not entirely my own. Sometimes my breath catches in my throat and threatens to suffocate me, because I long for her as hard as she does for me.

She may be alive but she's not well. She's still missing me, still struggling with our parting, just as I do. And with the passing of the days I'm getting more and more convinced that it _wasn't_ meant to end like that. Maybe we were truly meant to be together forever. If our connection stays on even across the Void, it must mean that there's something special between us.

And since the universe has its ways of course-correcting, I'm starting to hope that maybe, just maybe, we might actually see each other again.


	10. When the Years Have Come and Gone

When the Years Have Come and Gone

**When the Years Have Come and Gone**

_Rose wonders how she and the Doctor are supposed to recognize each other, should they meet again late in her life._

**Rose**

It's happening more often now. I can feel his presence. It's almost as if something tells me that we will meet again. But it does not give me any hope. The universe does not have a sense of time, and time is unforgiving.

Perhaps we will really see each other again, but when the years have come and gone, it will be too late to get back to where we started. I'll have waited for him for a lifetime, and for him it's just the blink of an eye.

How to recognize him? Suppose he'd just pop up here one day – will he even know me? I'll be an old woman, nearing the end of my life, with wrinkles and arthritic joints, and if he regenerated again in the meantime, he won't look nothing like the way he used to. We could pass each other on the street and not recognize each other.

That scares me most of all. When the years have come and gone, maybe I'll only be a distant memory of his, just another companion he once cared about. Maybe he wouldn't even want to see me again, wouldn't want to see what I've become. Either because he no longer cares, or because it would hurt him – to remember what was lost and can never be recovered.

And then again I think that there must be a way for us to rekindle that flame. But I don't have the slightest idea how, and when, it is going to happen.

When the years have come and gone, I'll know, for better or worse.


	11. Replacement

Replacement

**Replacement**

_Post "Smith and Jones". From here on, this will continue very (VERY) slightly A/U, insofar as Rose sometimes gets glimpses on the Doctor and Martha (and, later, Donna) and comments on what she sees._

**Rose**

I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling strangely elated and incredibly sad at the same time. It was as if two emotions were battling inside me, and I'm not so sure if they were my own. On the one hand, I felt less lonely – hence the elation. On the other hand, by heart was still broken – hence the sadness.

It must have been him. Something changed. Something happened. He must have found someone new.

I cried myself to sleep.

Then I saw her face tonight, and, God, she's beautiful. She's a little older than me, and already she has that look in her eyes when she looks at him, although she just met him. She adores him. She's falling for him, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm wondering if she will help him forget me, and while it might be better for him to move on, I don't want him to, 'cause I can't.

And I never will. I might have been replaced, but there will never be a way of replacing him.


	12. Sleeping Habits

Sleeping Habits

**Sleeping Habits**

_Post "The Shakespeare Code", Rose commenting on the scene with the Doctor and Martha in the bed at the inn._

**Rose**

It was one of those nights again. I felt him so close I could actually see him. But this time, it left me feeling strange. I saw him in an inn room. Sixteenth century, I'd say. I know he must have been thinking about me, for that's the only reason why I see him in my dreams, why our minds seem to connect. I know he must have been missing me, because I felt it.

But I also saw him lying on that bed with her. I know the way he is. I know the concept of closeness and intimacy does not mean the same to him that it does to me, but still it hurts to see him like that, and so quickly – he's only known her for a couple of days. It's like catching your boyfriend with somebody else, even though nothing happens. But I saw the look on her face and I know that to her, it does mean something. He is about to hurt her without wanting to.

That, or he is going to give himself to her as he gave himself to me, and I can't even blame him.

I want to hate her, and I can't. It's not her fault. It's the way he acts that makes her hope for more. I know fully well that he doesn't feel love. But still I think that, if the breach hadn't closed so soon, he would have told me that he loved me, too. And even if it wasn't love, it was the closest thing to it that he could feel for me. Seeing him give the same to someone else is painful.

I woke up crying, hugging my pillow the way I used to hug him. I can't count the times we've fallen asleep next to each other – for lack of space, for the cold wind, or simply because we stayed up late talking and were too lazy to move back to our respective beds. We used to lie there, facing each other, talking. And when sleep finally started closing in, I would rest my head on his chest, just above his heart – well, one of his hearts, anyway. I'd lie there and listen to the reassuring sound of two heartbeats with my own in perfect counterpoint, and he would put his arm around me and hold me close, almost like a lover.

Almost.

And I would feel warm and safe and comfortable.

Those were the nights I always slept best.


	13. Not An Option

Not an Option

**Not an Option**

_Some moments from "Gridlock" trigger off Rose's memory of yet another (unshown) adventure._

**Rose**

_I'm watching helplessly as she is being dragged away, screaming her name. We're on another planet far from home – hers and mine – and I can't let it happen. Leaving her behind is unacceptable. I brought her here, I'm going to take her home safely. My mind is racing, weighing and dismissing ways to find out where they might take her. I've got to do something…_

I wake with a start. I was in the Doctor's head again. He's in trouble, or rather, his new companion is. I still don't know her name, it never shows. It's not etched in his mind as deeply as mine. I suppose I'm relieved about that. It shows that he hasn't grown that close to her, at least not yet.

But close enough to feel panic at the thought of leaving her behind.

It makes me think of the several times he had to go looking for me. He always put all his skill and effort in it, unable to leave without me. I admit, it made me a bit reckless. I risked more than I normally would have, since I knew he would never give up until he'd rescued me. A bit like Lois Lane, I reckon. She also knew that it would be Superman to the rescue before the worst happened.

Sometimes it was a close call. For instance, that one day we ended up on some faraway planet a couple of thousand years in the future, where the civilization was a remotely lion-like race – tooth and claw and all – who had never seen (and, more importantly, _tasted_) a human before. I ended up chained to the wall ready for slaughter by the time he finally got there and got me out of it, risking his own life by doing so. Actually, one of those creatures got a good chunk out of his leg and it took him days to regrow it.

For two days, he was in pain, and I was tending to the wound as best as I could. On the second day, making a mental note of stocking up the TARDIS's medical supplies, I told him, "You risked an awful lot by going into the lion's den and getting me out."

He looked up at me and offered a weak half-smile. He didn't manage any more. Sweat was forming on his brow, dampening his shock of messy brown hair and plastering it to his temples. I smoothed it away.

"I had to," he said simply, the smile fading. He reached up and cupped my face in one palm. Stroking over my cheekbone with his thumb, he added, "Losing you is not an option."


	14. You Can Kiss Me Later

You Can Kiss Me Later

**You Can Kiss Me Later**

_Rose catches a phrase from "Evolution of the Daleks"._

**Rose**

_She looks at him, and joy and relief spread over her face. "You're alive!" she exclaims._

_He is a hurry and simply urges her forward. "Yeah, you can kiss me later," he says casually._

While I am waking up from this fragment of a dream, I am haunted by her face – by the smile and the look she gives him when his attention is distracted. I have no doubt that there's nothing she would rather do than kiss him. Later.

It was just a phrase and I shouldn't get so upset about it. It's one of those things he says without thinking. He probably really has no idea how it must sound to a woman who's seriously beginning to fall in love with him.

My stomach lurches. At the same time, I ask myself why it bothers me so much. I wasn't jealous of Madame Pompadour, and she _did_ kiss him. I'm not jealous of Sarah Jane, not anymore. She has moved on, even though it was difficult. But I'm jealous of _her_. It's petty and selfish, and I'm perfectly aware of that, but I can't help it. I probably just can't stand the fact that he's found someone else, someone who's in the place I used to occupy. And he's vulnerable right now, after he lost me, that much I know. If she offers him comfort, he'll take it, and God knows what might happen once he lets her in. She might be able to trigger off feelings he's been hiding away, he's not even been having for centuries. But while he may not feel love, he certainly feels friendship, and concern, and grief.

It should be me, there, at his side, fighting whatever it is they're fighting. It should be me worrying about him, and me hugging him with relief.

_You can kiss me later._ He shouldn't have said that. It was a joke, sure enough, but even the jokes he makes seem different now.

He certainly never said it to me, 'cause, believe me, I would have.


	15. I Need You

I Need You

**I Need You**

_Inspired by Amaral's "Te Necesito". The song ain't mine, the translation is. This is not a songfic as such, but parts of the lyrics are included in the story (in italics), because they trigger off the trails of thought of Rose and the Doctor. _

_The next few chapters will probably not continue with the third season rehash but fit somewhere in between, as I can't watch any more Doctor Who at the moment. As soon as I can go on watching, the comments on the Martha season will continue._

**Rose**

I was feeling particularly lonely today. Mum was having a kind of party. Mickey was there, of course, and a couple of his friends. I think Mum is secretly hoping I'll hit it off with them, but I'm not interested. Mickey still defends me against anything they say, but I can see that he's getting tired of it. He doesn't understand that I don't want any friends, at least not yet. I'm not ready to move on, and it will still take time. I'll be able to move on when I've managed to forget you.

_But how am I supposed to forget you when your name is still in the air, blowing through my memories?_

**The Doctor**

I was feeling particularly lonely today. Martha was with me, but she was going on and on about the planet we'd just been to, and at some point I stopped listening. I don't think she noticed. Fair enough; time travelling is still pretty new to her, and it's only natural that she's excited about it. You were the same way when we first started, but I was a different man back then, and my memory is a bit fuzzy. When I came along, I mean my present self, you were already used to it.

I've been thinking a lot about you lately, ever since Martha came along. I told her on the very first day she wasn't going to replace you, and she doesn't. She's different from you in so many ways. I've grown to like her, although sometimes I don't quite understand her. Sometimes it seems as if she's expecting me to do or say something, and when I don't, she huffs. It must be some girl thing. I wish you were here to explain. But then again, if you were here, she wouldn't be.

Rose, I miss you. You're everywhere, and I need you.

_I need you like the sunlight in this cold winter to give me your warmth._

**Rose**

If only she didn't look at you like that, and if only you didn't look back at her the way you do. It's almost the way you looked at me – care and friendship and need showing in your eyes. And just like the way I was about to get lost in your eyes, now she is. And if she doesn't watch out, she'll lose more than herself; she'll lose her heart and reason.

Because that's what they really are, your eyes.

_The abyss where my reason dies._

**The Doctor**

There hasn't been a day when I haven't thought of you.

There hasn't been a day when I haven't missed you.

There hasn't been a night when I haven't dreamed of you.

Every tear I've shed since you've been gone, I've shed for you.

Every time I enter the TARDIS I look around, and when I see something Martha left there, my hearts jump for a split second until I remember that she's a woman, too, and therefore leaves the same kind of stuff behind that you used to.

This is how I think of you.

This is how I dream of you.

This is how I cry for you.

This is how I miss you.

_This is how I love you._


	16. How Do I Love Thee

How Do I Love Thee

**How Do I Love Thee?**

_Rose muses about the difference between loving and being in love. Title inspired by (no surprise there) Romantic poetry and Shakespeare._

**Rose**

I've been thinking a lot about love lately. A conversation with Mickey triggered it off, when I was talking to him about the Doctor. Mickey has reproached me more than once with always returning to the Doctor, never to him. He was right, although I didn't want to see it then. Mickey had been my boyfriend for so long, and we've known each other all our lives. He's probably the person I used to trust most in the world; more, even, than my own mother. There are certain things you talk about to your friends, not your parents. Yes, Mickey was my confidant.

Until the Doctor came along.

It must have hurt Mickey, I can see that now. I was slipping away from him without noticing it. I certainly loved him, I still do, but during my time with the Doctor I've fallen out of love, bit by bit. Yes, I love him, but I'm no longer _in love_ with him, if I ever was to begin with.

With the Doctor, I guess it was the other way around, although I'm still not sure about my feelings. We hit it off right away, he's so easy to like. When he offered me to stay with him, to be his companion, the choice wasn't hard to make. Staying with him promised excitement, boldly going where no man, etcetera. Except I didn't think we would grow so close. At first he was only interesting and exciting to be around. Then he became a friend, a confidant. And one day I woke up to realize that my mother and Mickey no longer were the most important persons in my life. He was. I guess I'd already begun to love him, platonically.

Then he changed, and although the essence of him remained the same, something didn't. Suddenly we grew even closer. Suddenly a glance, a touch, a hug meant more to me, and I could no longer imagine my life without him. I wanted to stay with him forever, and I told him so.

Was I falling in love with the Doctor as we grew closer and closer? I try to listen to myself and I'm still not sure. I'm certain that I love him, that I am. But am I _in love_ with him? I don't know.

Sometimes I think I am – when I see him with his new companion, jealousy clutches my heart. It upsets me to see them together, see her look at him, She's definitely in love with him.

Sometimes I think I'm not – I long for him, yes, but it would be enough for him to just be here. I would not ask more of him than he has already given me, because that's all he can give, and it was enough for me.

I guess what's really bothering me is the possibility that he'll give just as much, or even more, to someone else. And knowing that brings me back to the beginning: how deep is my love for him?


	17. Hurt and Comfort

Hurt and Comfort

**Hurt and Comfort**

_Rose remembers when the Doctor really opened up to her._

**Rose**

Somehow I know that by now, she knows about his past. She met the Daleks, she's heard of the Time War, and she's bound to have asked him what exactly he is. She must know by now he's the last of his kind, that he has lived for 900 years and that he has spent a good deal of those years in loneliness. She must have heard of Gallifrey and its suns and moons, even of Susan and Sarah Jane, the two women who meant as much to him as I did.

He did not tell me all of this at once. I got the information piece by piece, whenever he felt like sharing it. Rather late in our time together, we once had a long talk about it. That was after I said we were supposed to stay together forever, after I realized that my forever wasn't the same as his forever. He'd been promised forever before, and it never lasted.

We were sitting in the TARDIS, and he went on talking for a long time before it got too much for him and the shadows of the past overwhelmed him. His breath caught in his throat, his voice broke, and then suddenly his eyes were swimming with tears.

I don't think I'd seen him cry before, and for a moment I was unsure what to do. We'd always been so familiar, almost intimate, and now I felt shy. What kind of comfort do you offer someone whose pain is so much bigger than you could ever imagine? I got up and stood beside him, my hand hovering just above his shoulder, for some reason not quite daring to touch him. It was he who finally spoke.

"Hold me, Rose," he said. He did not look at me. I could hear the tears in his voice, but he hid them from sight.

My heart broke for him in that moment, and I swept down on him, rushing to oblige. Bending over him, I wrapped him up in my arms as tight as I could. He let out a shuddering sigh and leaned his head against me. As he was still sitting, he was resting against my chest, face buried in the fabric of my shirt. His arms crept around my waist. I almost folded myself about him, my head resting on top of his head, my face buried in his hair. My hands were stroking useless circles over his back, his shoulders, my fingers running through his hair.

We stood like that for a long time. He cried silently, the growing dampness on my shirt the only proof that he was crying at all. There was no need to talk. I couldn't have thought of anything to say, anyway. So I just stood there, held him close, gave him everything I could.

The comforting kiss I planted on top his head was the first one I ever gave him, at least in this incarnation. It would turn out to be the last, too, because only a few weeks later we were parted indefinitely.


	18. So Deeply Human

So Deeply Human

**So Deeply Human**

_Set during "Human Nature/The Family of Blood"._

**Rose**

I used to be able to feel him if I only listened hard enough. Sometimes that wall between us seemed so thin that I thought I could even see him, but when I shouted, he wouldn't hear me. And if I listened even harder, I used to feel the beating of his hearts, both of them.

Until now.

The echo of his second heartbeat is gone, but he's still there. I don't understand. He is certainly alive, certainly fine, but different. As if he were not quite himself.

He seems to think of me, but in another way. It feels as if he's forgotten me and only remembers me vaguely in his dreams. Yes, that's how it feels. I've faded from his thoughts.

And there's something else. All the magic and mystery surrounding him has gone. All that made him so special. It takes a lot of effort to even find him when I reach out for him. And when I finally find him, he feels not like himself.

But it's not only the lack of the mysterious, it's above all the appearance of the ordinary. He thinks of literature and routine instead of time and space. The vibes I get from him are concerned with everyday things. There's nothing of that darkness, that abyss hidden behind the happy-go-lucky attitude he likes to adopt.

There is, however, something I cannot put my finger on. If it weren't him, I would almost say it's love. But it can't be… can it? If he's lost his time lord self, maybe he's fallen in love, too. Perhaps with that new companion of his – this beautiful, strong and reliable woman who fell for him at first sight.

It's all so deeply human, and it scares me to death.


	19. Jack in the Box

Jack in the Box

**Jack in the Box**

_A toy makes Rose think of their short-time companion, Captain Jack Harkness. Set during the events of "Utopia"._

**Rose**

I went to a flea market today, just to get my mind off things. Mickey, Pete and I were just browsing through stuff, and I came across a stand that had all sorts of toys. In a sudden surge of nostalgia, I stopped and went through everything – teddy bears, jigsaw puzzles, picture books… And then I saw it. It was a blue box, rectangular, and when I opened it, a little figure jumped out of it, swaying back and forth on its spring.

Jack-in-the-box, that's what these little toys are called.

A blue box, like the TARDIS. Jack, as in Captain Jack Harkness.

I see him clearly now, though I haven't thought of him in a while, and suddenly I'm certain that Jack in back in the box.

It seems a lifetime ago that he saved me, that he danced with me, there in the middle of the blitz. A lifetime since he got killed and then resurrected again. A lifetime since he kissed us goodbye – both, the Doctor and me.

What might it be like for the Doctor to see him again? Will Jack even know him? After all, he's only known the old Doctor.

Captain Jack – so reckless, so savvy, so sly. Laughing in the face of danger. Hitting on everything and everyone he meets. And yet so charming, so clever, so… likeable. Even I succumbed to his charms, although I'd already grown very close to the Doctor.

God, I miss them. On days like these, it is worst. The pain of losing the Doctor is like a constant dull ache, but I've gotten used to it; it's even become a part of me. But these fresh memories are different, and it cuts me like a knife.

All of these thoughts washed over me in the fraction of a second, and I doubled over. The little blue box slipped from my hands and crashed to the ground. The flap opened and the little figure jumped out, swaying and bouncing as if it was mocking me.

Jack is in the box. How I wish I was there, too.


	20. Fading

Fading

**Fading**

_Set between "The Sound of Drums" and "Last of the Time Lords"._

**Rose**

I woke in the middle of the night and panicked. For a terrible moment, I thought I was going to die. My body was aching all over and I was fighting for breath. When that sensation of asphyxiation had finally passed and the pain had subsided, I started listening to myself, trying to evaluate what had happened. And I noticed that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't feel my own heartbeat. I knew it had to be there; after all, I wasn't dead, but it took me a while to finally locate that faint beating in my chest. It was as if it was fading, and then I knew: it wasn't me who was fading, it was him.

Something happened. Something bad. He's weak, and he's helpless, and there's very little hope left.

And then I did something I've never done before: I reached down that strange metaphysical cord that seems to connect us and went looking not for him but for his companion. I went looking for Martha, the only person that could perhaps save him, and the world along with him.

She was hard to find; she's shielding against everything and everyone. She needs to be inconspicuous, remain out of sight, and I guess it didn't help that she doesn't have any friendly feelings towards me – me, the one she felt was standing between her and the Doctor. But even though I was having a hard time to accept her, nothing of that matters now. He needs her, and I will do what I can to help her. She needs strength to save him, and although she is strong already, I can perhaps make her even stronger.

I don't think she'll notice my presence, and the connection is weak, but I try to reach her anyway, to somehow transmit all my determination, all my love for him, to her; everything that will add to her motivation and endurance.

I would still do anything for him.

I'll even ally myself with her to keep him from fading.


	21. All Alone

All Alone

**All Alone**

_The Doctor muses about the loss of his various companions. Set between season 3 and 4._

**The Doctor**

Here I am on my own again. All alone. Only me and the TARDIS and my memories of companions past.

I've been in that situation before. At some point, each of my companions left me. Some willingly, some not. But leave me, they did. Every single one of them.

I've got all of time and space before me; past, present, and future. Three times eternity, and I'm all on my own.

All alone.

Every time a companion leaves me, it feels as if the universe wants to test how far I can bend before I break. I came closest to breaking when you left me, Rose. We both did. But not long after that, I found company again. And she left me, too.

It seems that every time I take on a companion, I'm living on borrowed time. You and I certainly did. And when I lose them, I start running.

I'm running from my past, my present and my future, faster and faster, and deep down inside me I'm harbouring the impossible idea that, if I only go fast and far enough, all those light years I'm covering in the TARDIS will somehow take me closer to you.


	22. A Good Companion

A Good Companion

**A Good Companion**

_Post "Partners In Crime"._

**Rose**

There's been a change. It was as if the whole universe shifted a tiny little bit. Not necessarily for the worse, though. But something's definitely changed. Something important.

It took me a while to find out that it didn't have anything to do with Daleks or planets or supernovas. It was much easier. It was the Doctor. Something in his life has changed.

A new presence. Not Martha, Martha is gone from the TARDIS. He found someone else, someone different – different from Martha and from me. Someone strong and stubborn, someone less sentimental, with a no-nonsense attitude. Someone new.

A good companion.


	23. A Neverending Song

A Neverending Song

**A Neverending Song**

_Post "Planet of the Ood"._

**The Doctor**

The Ood are wiser than almost every other creature I've met on my journeys. Wiser, and more peaceful, and preposterously underestimated by almost every other creature.

I'm thinking a lot about their parting words: "There is room in the song for you… for your song will end soon." What did they mean? Have they foreseen my death, my ultimate, irrevocable death? Or simply my next regeneration? The end of an era? The end of Donna? Or even the end of you?

If my life is a song, if I am the melody, then you are the time signature, Rose – the one thing that keeps me together, that makes me go on. Forever.

Yes, my life is like a neverending song, and that is why I don't know what to make of what the Ood said. I don't want my song to end. Not before I've seen you again. I know it's technically impossible, but somehow I know that you haven't given up hope, either, and as long as you keep looking for me, I will, too.

If my song will indeed end soon, I want to be with you when it does.

**Rose**

My search has been going on for so long, and I've barely gotten closer. There are strange things happening in this parallel world, dreadful things… It's becoming more and more urgent to find you. The walls are getting thinner, even the Void seems to be disappearing. And if that happens, who knows what might come out. Torchwood Cardiff might not be able to deal with it unprepared. I might actually be able to contact them soon, but that doesn't might I'll find the Doctor, too.

Sometimes I feel like losing courage. I sit back and think that I'm not getting anywhere. That my desperate search for the Doctor, which is only partly due to the necessity of saving the universe, will end in nothingness and despair. That it will all end soon.

But then again, I see that new companion of his, Donna, whom I met, oh so briefly, on that bridge in London. I was only a short distance away from him, but the universe wasn't stable enough for me to go through the wall completely. But the fact that I could be there, if only for a moment, and talk to her, gives me new strength every time I'm about to give up. If I can work on that, I'll be able to cross over completely in a while, and once I'm there, I'll also be able to find him. And if I have to use the Rift in Cardiff.

If it's all supposed to end soon, then I want to be with him when it does.


	24. Complete Stranger

Complete Stranger

**Complete Stranger**

_A look into the Doctor's head during the events of "Forest of the Dead" with respect to River Song's revelations._

**The Doctor**

She knew my name. Why did she know my name? No one does. I never tell. Legend has it that a time lord can only reveal his name once, and that's… impossible! And still it seems too logical to be wrong. In _my_ future… in _her_ past… we've known, or will know, each other. It scares the living daylights out of me (what an appropriate metaphor, given what we've just faced).

This woman is a complete stranger to me. I have no connection to her, none whatsoever. The way she talked about me, about us… No way, when the woman I love as much as humanly (no, strike that) possible is still so vivid in my mind, still so close to me. I would have to forget you, Rose, in order to make happen what she said has already come to pass.

But then again, she's from the 51st century. When she is born, you will be long gone, and I will have lived thirty centuries without you. Even for a time lord, that's long enough for a memory to fade, I suppose.

I don't want that to happen. I don't want you to fade. You're the one who keeps me going. Always you, Rose. You're the reason I'll live to see the 51st century in the first place. How, then, would I ever be able to forget you?


	25. Anything in the Universe

Anything in the Universe

**Anything in the Universe**

_Set towards the end of season 4. This is different from the others, as Rose is only mentioned in a conversation between the Doctor and Donna._

**The Doctor**

We're close to the Andromeda Nebula. The TARDIS is just hovering in mid-air (well, mid-no-air), and Donna and I are sitting on the floor, looking out.

"It's beautiful," Donna says after a while. "All those colors…"

"Yup," I agree.

"Looks like fairy dust, don't you think?" Donna says dreamily. "As if I could reach out and grab a handful, and wish for anything I like…"

"Don't go there, Donna," I interrupt her. "Fairies aren't the lovely, magical, sweet little angels that humans think the are. They're nasty and greedy, and they certainly don't grant you any wishes."

Donna looks at me. "You're not tellin' me that fairies actually _exist_, are you? Blimey!"

I look at her, startled. "Of course they exist. Didn't you know?"

Donna only rolls her eyes in response.

"What?" I ask her, not understanding what I did wrong.

Donna shakes her head, indicating, she won't discuss this. Fine. I look out into the vastness of the universe.

After a while, Donna speaks again, and what she says startles me.

"If you could wish for something, anything in the universe, no matter what it was, what would it be?" She turns to look at me. "Would you wish for Gallifrey to be restored? For the time lords to return?"

I'm so surprised that it takes me a while to find my words. I'm about to answer, yes, of course, but then I hesitate. Is this really my greatest wish in the world?

"They've been gone too long," I say slowly. "They're little more than a memory to me. The TARDIS is my home now, and my companions are my family."

"But there must be something… something you long for more than anything else," Donna insists. "And if you could make that one wish, you could have it back."

_Oh, yes, there is._

"Not some_thing_, Donna," I say softly. "Not some_thing_."

"Some_one_, then," Donna says impatiently. But then she casts me a sideways glance and notices my face, which has become stone cold and frozen. My pain is showing clearly, I'm certain of that. And she understands, of course she does. She reaches out her hand and puts it over mine. "Someone you lost, and whom you've been missing ever since. Someone you can't forget. Doctor, if you could wish for Rose to come back, wouldn't you?"

_I would certainly want to wish for that._

"I don't know," I say out loud. I don't really like where this conversation is going. It's all too hypothetical, and what good are dreams and wishes, if they won't ever come true? But to humor Donna, I think about my answer. "I'm not sure if I should use that one wish for myself, you know," I say eventually. "If I could wish for virtually _anything_… shouldn't I think about it carefully? Make a wish for the good of the whole universe?"

Donna all but cuts across me. "The universe has you. Whenever there's trouble, you're there to save the day." She squeezes my hand. "But you need motivation, Doctor. You need something to hold on to in order to muster the will to go on doing what you're doing. You need more happiness. No one deserves happiness more than you."

"But I _am_ happy," I protest. "I have the TARDIS, and I have you, Donna Noble, and you're brilliant."

Donna smiles, but then she shakes her head. "I think that you would only be happy – really, _really_ happy – if Rose were with you once again."

She's right, she's so right. Without Rose, it's as if a part of me is missing. No matter how happy I _feel_ when I'm on the hunt with Donna – it's got nothing to do with how happy I actually _am_.

"Maybe I would," I admit, answering Donna's question. "But still I couldn't do that – make a wish for myself if it was in my power to make the whole universe a better place. I just couldn't."

A mischievous glint appears in Donna's eyes, but only to be replaced by something between affection and compassion. She covers my hand in hers again. "If you refused to wish for Rose to return to you, even though you want it more than anything else in the world, then I would make that wish for you."

_A/__N:__ I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, just after "Turn Left" aired. Funny, though, that Donna actually did turn out to be responsible for reuniting the Doctor and Rose for good._


	26. Strange Encounter of the Tenth Kind

Strange Encounter of the Tenth Kind

**Strange Encounter of the Tenth Kind**

_A Rose POV rehash of the events around her reunion with the Doctor in "The Stolen Earth/Journey's End". Sorry for basically repeating what happened in the respective episodes, but I didn't know how to do it any other way._

**At the Nobles'**

Wilfred and Sylvia are nice, they certainly are, but they are a bit old-fashioned. How can they not have a webcam? So here I am, staring at the computer screen, looking into the Doctor's eyes for the first time in two years, and he can't see me; he has no idea I'm here. I'm only a computer away, and the only reason I cannot talk to him, cannot make myself noticed, is the absence of a stupid webcam. I want to scream in frustration, but I control myself. It's not Wilf and Sylvia's fault, after all. They didn't know that one day, a desperate traveller from another world would show up on their doorstep and demand to use the computer.

So I only listen to his voice, which hasn't changed a bit, and look at his face, which hasn't changed much, either. His hair is even messier and his eyes are worried, but they also shimmer with joy at seeing Sarah Jane, Jack and that beautiful black woman whom I vaguely remember from my haunted dreams. But I've forgotten her name, and the way she talks to, and about, the Doctor even makes me feel a little jealous. The others treat her as the ultimate authority when it comes to travelling with the Doctor.

My eyes are glued to the computer screen, willing it to let me join this conversation. But they continue without me, unaware of my presence.

I might as well not be here – to them, it wouldn't make a difference.

**On the Street**

I can't see them very well, they're too far away. But Donna is talking to the Doctor, and again, he stands with his back to me and doesn't see me. I want to call out for him, but my voice seems to have gone. I'm almost overwhelmed. I've finally found him. I'm only a street away, in the same dimension, the same time, the same planet. Nothing can stop us now from finally reuniting.

Donna suddenly lifts her head and spots me. She looks surprised, then a smile spreads over her face, directed both at me and the Doctor. She says something, and he turns around.

And he sees me.

Words cannot describe what is passing between him and me at this moment. I almost blank for a moment, and when I can think again, I'm running, running down the street, slowed down by the heavy gun I'm still carrying. And he's running, too, almost flying, and the smile that shines from his face seems to illuminate the night.

And then the worst happens: there's a sharp hiss from the side of the road, a bleak voice bleating "Exterminate!", and then a ray of sickly blue Dalek laser beam strikes the Doctor, and he falls.

I forget about everything else – my gun, the Dalek, Donna, everything. I just cover the remaining distance, drop to my knees beside him, and finally touch him, taking his head in my hands and cradling it. This was not how I'd imagined we would meet again.

There's noise behind me, something exploding. I don't even look back. If my Doctor dies here on this street, in my arms, then I don't care about extermination by a disgruntled tin can.

At least he's conscious. He can see me. He looks at me and says my name, he even tries to joke. "Long time no see," he manages.

"Been busy, you know." I try to joke, too, but my voice is trembling too hard.

"Don't die," I keep whispering.

_Don't die, Doctor. Not now, not when I just found you again. I came all this way, I waited all this time. Don't you dare die on me now._

Someone helps me up, supports the Doctor from the other side, tells me to get him into the TARDIS. I don't pay much attention. In the back of my mind, I recognize Jack Harkness, but I only see the Doctor. He leans heavily on me, his arms around me, as if even now, so close to death – or regeneration – he wants to be as close to me as he can.

**In the TARDIS**

Donna is babbling about medicine, Jack is shouting orders. I don't care. I'm on my knees beside him once again, once again holding him, stroking his hair, his face. "You can't die, not now," I implore him. "I came all this way!"

He turns to look at me, and there's so much in this look, all those things left unsaid. He's in great pain, but at the same time I know he's overjoyed to see me. How long I've waited for that look in his eyes.

Someone – Jack – is tugging at my jacket, urging me to step back, but I refuse to leave his side, refuse to let go, to take my hands off him.

He looks at me again and then turns to look at his hand, which starts glowing in that eerily gold light.

"It's starting," he gasps.

I'm crying, tears dripping on his chest, and this time I let Jack pull me back. Donna is asking what is going on. Her face is haunted and scared, and I find my voice again, long enough to explain to her what's happening.

Jack has me gripped tightly, keeping me from rushing back to the Doctor's side, and when the Doctor suddenly gets jerked upright, throws his head back and manages to say, "I'm regenerating!", I give up. Sobbing, I bury my head in Jack's chest. He has one arm around me and the other around Donna, a protective gesture that does so little against the horror I'm feeling.

The intense gold light is penetrating my closely shut eyes, so I open them again, trying to see through that blaze, trying to see what will become of the Doctor.

My Doctor.

**In the TARDIS - later**

When the Doctor finally gets done explaining what happened during that regeneration, we all fall silent. I'm still standing beside Jack, but now the Doctor is looking straight at me, only me, and the shine is back in his eyes. I step forward, almost shy now. Jack's arms slides away from my shoulders, and I can feel him step back, turning to Donna, giving me and the Doctor the moment we both so desperately waited for.

My whole body is shaking when I finally reach him, and for a split second, I hesitate, but then he makes a move, and so do I, and then I'm lying in his arms. My heart is racing against his two, and I wrap my arms around him as if I never want to let him go again, and the truth is that I really don't. My head is buried in his shoulder, taking in that familiar scent of him, his messy hair brushing the side of my cheek.

He hugs me back with all he has, enfolding me completely in his arms, and somehow I know that he's thinking exactly the same.

I don't know how long we were standing there, it felt like too long and too short at the same time. How can you make up for two years of separation in just one embrace? All those lost moments, those unsaid words that won't come to us even now? We're both speechless and silent, completely absorbed by the mere fact of seeing each other again.

Eventually, someone taps on my back, lightly at first, then harder.

Reluctantly, very reluctantly, I loosen my grip on the Doctor and lift my head from his shoulder. We look into each other's eyes once again, both beaming now. Then I turn my head to see Jack standing behind me.

"If you don't mind, we still have some work to do," he says, pointing his head to the monitors showing that Dalek invasion. Then he winks at me. "And besides, Rose Tyler, I wouldn't mind giving you a huge hug, too."

**In the TARDIS – After the Battle**

We made it. We saved it all – the world, the universe, our families, us. Everything that matters. And the Daleks are gone, once and for all.

Our joyous celebration of our victory lasts a while. Everyone wants to hug everyone, and so they do, and that takes a while. In all the commotion, I'm barely able to exchange a couple of words with Sarah Jane, Donna and Martha. I'd like to get to know them better, especially Martha, whom I haven't met before. We're the Children of Time, the Doctor's (or would that now be the Doctors'?) most faithful companions. But no one's really in the condition to talk; all that comes out is joyous, senseless jabbering. I find myself being bear-hugged by Mickey; a smacking kiss is placed on the top of my head by Jack; Martha gives me a warm hug that makes me regret the jealousy I felt about her earlier; Sarah Jane squeezes my hand; Donna sweeps down on me and almost knocks me over; and finally, two identical arms slide around my shoulders from the left and from the right, and I find myself standing right between the two identical Doctors.

It's strange, having two Doctors around. I thought I knew my Doctor better than anyone else, but even I can only tell them apart by the different clothes they're wearing. It's as if my Doctor had suddenly split into two.

For one moment I remember the old Doctor, the one I first met. The Ninth. I grew to love him even back then, but now I have difficulties to remember his face. Above all, I remember his kindness. But although he used to be "my" Doctor in the beginning, his successor assumed this position long ago.

One of them – the old one, the real one – takes my hand and laces his fingers with mine.

"We did it, Rose Tyler," he whispers into my ear. "And we were brilliant."

"Yes, we were," I reply, leaning against him. And, remembering once again his old self, I add, "we were _fantastic!_"


	27. Growing Old With You

Growing Old With You

**Growing Old With You**

_A rehash of the scene at Bad Wolf Bay in "Journey's End" and a subsequent scene between Rose and DoctorDonna. First and only time in this series that a chapter is not told in first person perspective. I've messed up the dialogue a bit in the first part of this, as there's no transcript out yet, but I've added a few bits and pieces of my own to explain things, anyway, so this is actually a rewrite – which doesn't mean I didn't like the original scene, it was perfect! Please let me know what you think, especially about this and the last chapter._

His suggestion seemed preposterous to Rose. No matter how similar, the other Doctor still felt like a copy to her. And now he wanted to go off into the sunset once again and leave her behind with that copy.

"But you're still the Doctor," she protested, feeling the tears well up in her eyes.

"I'm him," he said gingerly.

"I've got his mind, his memories, everything," the other Doctor added. "I came from him."

"Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" Donna added. She looked at the other Doctor. "Tell her!"

She turned around to look at the other Doctor. He looked exactly like the real one. He spoke like him, moved like him, thought like him.

"I've only got one heart now," he explained. "I'm part human, and that's changed some aspects of me – specifically, regeneration. I'll grow old like you, and never regenerate." He took a breath and looked at Rose. "I've only got one life now – and I could spend it with you, if you want."

Rose fell silent. Then she lifted up her hand and placed it on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart soft under her palm. Just one heart, just like he'd said.

The Doctor and Donna started to turn around, and Rose quickly turned.

"But it's still not right!" she protested.

"Rose, he _is_ me," the Doctor reiterated, briefly touching her hand. "He's got my mind… he remembers everything we did together, everything that happened after you left… he's got my quirks and my mannerisms – well, and he might have inherited one or two from Donna, sorry about that! – but what's most important, he has a human heart. He has feelings I could never have. He can give you things I could never give you." He was looking at her, a serious look in his eyes. "And he needs you as I needed you when I first met you," he added. "You can start anew, together, and it will make almost no difference for you."

"But what about you?" Rose raised a hand to touch his cheek.

"Ah, I'll be fine!" He seemed to want to shrug off the matter, but Rose continued to stroke his cheek.

"You'll never see me again, and that's definite this time," she said. "Donna told me that you were mourning me even two years after we were separated. I don't want you to be sad again."

A soft smile curled his lips, and he reached up to cover her hand on his cheek with his. "But don't you see the beauty of this, Rose? I'm giving you the part of me that's been missing you the most, needing you the most. And since he is a part of me, everything you give him will somehow reach me, too, and it will be enough."

Rose bit her lower lip, looking back at the other Doctor. "Come here, you two," she said eventually. "I have a question for both of you."

Standing between the two, she looked from one to the other. "When I was last standing on this beach on the most horrible day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?" she asked.

The Doctor swallowed. "I said 'Rose Tyler'," he answered.

"So how was that sentence going to end?" Rose demanded to know, her eyes fixed on the Doctor.

He slightly shook his head. "Does it need saying?" he asked softly.

So he still wasn't able to say it. Rose swallowed and turned to the other. "Doctor?" Her voice was trembling.

The other Doctor laid a hand on her arm and bowed to her. His lips were almost touching her ear as he whispered his response:

"I was going to say it back."

Rose stared at him for a second, processing what he'd said. _Say it back_ – say what back? What had she said directly before?

_I love you._

It all fell into place. The other Doctor, with the human heart. Able to express feelings, able to feel love, and love her back. With sudden determination, Rose grabbed front of his jacket, pulled him close, and kissed him. After a moment, he responded, cautiously but with utter tenderness, and Rose wrapped her arms firmly around his neck, drew a shuddering breath and allowed the kiss to deepen. And yes, he also _felt _like the Doctor. A great wave of emotion swept over Rose, and half laughing, half crying, she kept kissing him, and he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her back.

The sound of the TARDIS leaving made her turn around, just in time to see it fade away.

"No," she muttered, letting go of the Doctor and running to the spot where the time machine had stood just a moment before. But it was gone.

She stood rooted to the spot until she heard soft footsteps behind her. The Doctor appeared at her side, and without speaking, he reached for her hand, took it and laced his fingers with hers, just like he used to do. She turned to look at him.

And the softest of smiles appeared on her face.

"This is brilliant!" the Doctor exclaimed when they entered Pete's house. He dashed from one room to the next, admiring the works of art, the paintings, the books, the flowers, everything.

Rose hung behind, watching him with a smile on her face. Jackie had gone off to the nursery to look after little Tony. The journey back from Norway had taken longer than they'd thought. She and Pete had left it to Rose to show the Doctor his new home – there was a lot of room in Pete's house, even more now, since Mickey had chosen to stay on earth and he had always had a room kept for him in the house.

When the Doctor finally came to a halt in the living room, he sat down on the couch, and Rose joined him there. He immediately slipped arm around her shoulder and drew her close, an oddly familiar gesture.

"I still can't believe this," he said. "You and me, here… me settling down…"

"You being human in the first place…" Rose added with a smirk. She leaned her head against his chest. "It's odd, not hearing a second heartbeat."

"It's odd, not being thrown off the couch by turbulence," he countered.

Rose looked up at him. "Aren't you gonna miss it?" she asked. "The TARDIS… travelling… all that?"

He sighed. "Oh yes, I will," he said. "But I trust in this human heart to harbour the desire to settle down." He looked at her, his eyes earnest. "With you, Rose Tyler, just like you said back then."

"Stay together forever," Rose said dreamily. "It's strange, you know… when I went looking for you, I'd hoped I'd find you and could stay with you until I grew old. And now it turns out that we'll both grow old together. It's more than I ever imagined. You're his parting gift.. or _your _parting gift… it's all so confusing!"

The Doctor fell silent and just looked at her. To her surprise, Rose noticed tears in his eyes. His fingers were trembling slightly as he put a hand under her chin to lift up her face until their eyes were level.

"I love you, Rose Tyler," he said softly. "I remember not being able to say it – not being familiar with the whole concept… And now it's all new and strange. When I look at you, I feel younger and lighter and more alive than ever. It's as if I could start to float any second. And I only want to be with you and never let you go. Is that how human love really feels?" He sounded almost anxious.

Rose pulled him in an embrace. "That's exactly what it feels like," she whispered into his ear.

The Doctor heaved sigh and kissed her softly on the corner of the mouth. "Then I reckon that I'll grow to like being part human."


	28. Epilogue

Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_The Doctor's thoughts at the end of "Journey's End"._

**The Doctor:**

I didn't lie to her. I'm pretty sure that something of what Rose and the other Doctor share will reach me, too. We're the same person, him and me. And whenever I get lonely and wish that Rose were here, I can draw on the knowledge that she already _is_ with me, exactly where she belongs.

I'll miss Donna. She was brilliant, and it caused me almost physical pain to take all that away from her. But her life was more important. Now she'll never know what a hero she was. She might have weird dreams, the way I did when I became human, but she'll never know they were anything but dreams.

I'll miss Martha, too. But she's back with UNIT, and it's not impossible that our paths will cross again. She remembers, and she is on this earth.

Sarah Jane is back with her son. I thought she never married – there's some story she's got to tell me, and maybe I should just show up on her doorstep one day for a chat between old friends. I promise I won't try to persuade her to come back with me to the TARDIS.

Jack Harkness has run back to his team, to Gwen Cooper, whose ancestor I once met when I was a different man, and Ianto Jones. They seem good people, and a good team. I can see why Jack wanted to return to them. But, old friend, our paths will certainly cross again.

And yes, Rose, I'll miss you, too, but not with the despair and loneliness I've been missing you in those last two years. I'll think of you fondly, knowing that you're with another part of me that knows how to give you the love you deserve. So in a way you were right – we are staying together forever.

So now, my good old TARDIS, it's time to start over. Let's see where we end up, and whom we meet along the way.

Right now I'm lonely, so lonely, and we've got to do something about it.

Goodbye, my faithful companions.

You were all brilliant.

**xxxTHE ENDxxx**

_End Note:__ This will not be continued, as the story of Rose and the Doctor is, I feel, sufficiently told. Feel free, however, to re-read this as often as you like. If I'm ever going to take up 10/Rose again, it will certainly be another story, not this one._

_One thing more: I noticed that quite a couple of people have favorited this story and/or put it on story alert, and I thank you very much for that. Still I'd be even happier if you also left a review ;) I'd like to know which one you liked most/least, how you liked the concept, if it's too fluffy, etc…. Thank you, and see you around. If not for Who, then maybe for Torchwood ;)_


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